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Menopause typically happens to women between the ages of 45-55. But it can also take place due to a range health conditions eg cancer or surgery eg hysterectomy where the ovaries are removed. Lori Ann King shares her experince of a sudden surgical menopause after an unexpected hysterectomy at 43 and dealing with the anger that she felt.

“I want you to be angry,” Maia said. The more I learn about your journey, the angrier I get. Why aren’t you angry?”

That’s one of the things I love about Maia. She cuts right to the chase and says what she feels. She’s also very in tune with her anger. She uses it as a way to fully express her heart. It’s her tool to fight for herself as well as others. Having struggled for years with fibroid tumors, she fought with her doctors to keep all of her reproductive organs. After learning about my experience and the unexpected removal of my uterus, cervix, ovaries, and fallopian tubes, she couldn’t understand why I was so calm.

We were currently on a video chat, discussing topics and questions for an upcoming conversation where she planned to interview me about my first book, Come Back Strong. We both wanted it to be real, raw, and authentic. We wanted to be transparent and vulnerable with our audience, completely unashamed about the topic or our feelings.

The truth was, I had been angry. I can still remember the day my husband, Jim wrecked his car. He had stormed out of the house while he was upset with me and rear-ended another vehicle. Just prior to that, we had screamed at each other for over ten minutes, including profanities that shall not be repeated.

It had been over two years since my surgery and I was still struggling. Physically, I was fine six weeks after my hysterectomy and oophorectomy. On the outside, it looked as if I was living a normal life and fully functioning. But to my inner circle, and especially to my husband, I wasn’t myself. I was no longer calm and peaceful, and I certainly did not exude joy. Externally, I was functioning, but many times it felt like I was going through the motions on autopilot. Internally, I felt out of balance as my emotions continued their roller coaster ride.

At that moment, screaming at my husband, I knew I was angry. I was angry about this sudden condition of sudden surgical menopause that I didn’t sign up for. I was angry about how awful I felt. I was angry at being angry. I whined, criticized, and blamed everyone and everything for my suffering. I blamed the surgery. I blamed my doctor. I blamed Jim. I blamed myself.

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On the last Thursday of every month (26th September this month) at the Old Fire Station, 61 Leswin Road N16 7NX from 6.30pm -8.30pm.

Meet other women in similar situation, share experiences and tips. Hear from experts. Have some laughs!

Let us know if you would like to attend  by emailing menopause@handsinc.co.uk or phone 020 3051 8626

 

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Menopause Course

find out more by joining our FREE 9 week course, looking at all aspects of the peri-menopause and menopause including:
STRESS and ANXIETY, HOT FLUSHES, NIGHT SWEATS
and SLEEPING PROBLEMS and how to manage them.
Leave the course more CONFIDENT, more
KNOWLEDGEABLE, more ABLE TO COPE and with
increased SELF ESTEEM
WEDNESDAYS 6 . 45PM – 8 . 45PM
24TH APRIL TO 19TH JUNE
VENUE : WHITMORE COMMUNITY CENTRE
2 – 4 PHILLIP STREET
HACKNEY N1 5NU
The course is FREE but you do need to book a place

Call us on 020 3051 8626 or email
menopause@handsinc.co.uk

Come and find out about our innovative course and support groups. Try massage, learn how to grow your own HRT and try Laughter Yoga and more.

Our event is free but we do ask you to book a place.

Call 020 3051 8626 or email menopause@handsinc.co.uk

No-one asked me, no G.P enquired about any menopausal issues although I was a fairly regular user of the G.P surgery. I myself, was the one who ‘raised the alarm’, brought it to their attention. I was offered HRT which I had heard a lot of negative stuff about. I decided to look for other ways, things to alleviate the symptoms at least. Eventually, I was signposted to HandsInc by a support worker. I signed up for an 8 week course even though, by now, I had actually given up on the whole ‘menopause thing’. I’m glad I came as I have met many women here in the same ‘predicament’.

Generally, women do not speak openly about the menopause. There is an air of embarrassment, a sense of affliction. Women almost whisper about the menopause. People offer remedies and tips but they don’t always work. When I was young, I witnessed my mother going through ‘the sweats’ and found her to be quite annoying…always opening windows! I was horrified when I found out that I was peri-menopausal. It felt like my life as a woman was waning, dwindling away before my very eyes.

All I had in my toolkit was my mother’s advice:-
– cotton clothing which was lighweight but highly absorbent.
-a cotton flannel to wipe the face.
– layers of clothing to be peeled off as required, allowing one to be discreet in plain sight of all.
– the obligatory fan(s) to provide instant cooling should one succumb to the unforgiving, annoyingly momentary, ‘ heat rush of the flush.’

I now realise that no 2 women are the same, each individual has their own experience of the menopause. Some women may start sooner than others and some may have no symptoms at all. I am not my mother and will have to embark on my own journey of discovery concerning the menopause. I will eventually assemble a toolkit of my own. I console myself by knowing that the menopause will not last forever and subsequently, I will get my life back!