Menopause typically happens to women between the ages of 45-55. But it can also take place due to a range health conditions eg cancer or surgery eg hysterectomy where the ovaries are removed. Lori Ann King shares her experince of a sudden surgical menopause after an unexpected hysterectomy at 43 and dealing with the anger that she felt.
“I want you to be angry,” Maia said. The more I learn about your journey, the angrier I get. Why aren’t you angry?”
That’s one of the things I love about Maia. She cuts right to the chase and says what she feels. She’s also very in tune with her anger. She uses it as a way to fully express her heart. It’s her tool to fight for herself as well as others. Having struggled for years with fibroid tumors, she fought with her doctors to keep all of her reproductive organs. After learning about my experience and the unexpected removal of my uterus, cervix, ovaries, and fallopian tubes, she couldn’t understand why I was so calm.
We were currently on a video chat, discussing topics and questions for an upcoming conversation where she planned to interview me about my first book, Come Back Strong. We both wanted it to be real, raw, and authentic. We wanted to be transparent and vulnerable with our audience, completely unashamed about the topic or our feelings.
The truth was, I had been angry. I can still remember the day my husband, Jim wrecked his car. He had stormed out of the house while he was upset with me and rear-ended another vehicle. Just prior to that, we had screamed at each other for over ten minutes, including profanities that shall not be repeated.
It had been over two years since my surgery and I was still struggling. Physically, I was fine six weeks after my hysterectomy and oophorectomy. On the outside, it looked as if I was living a normal life and fully functioning. But to my inner circle, and especially to my husband, I wasn’t myself. I was no longer calm and peaceful, and I certainly did not exude joy. Externally, I was functioning, but many times it felt like I was going through the motions on autopilot. Internally, I felt out of balance as my emotions continued their roller coaster ride.
At that moment, screaming at my husband, I knew I was angry. I was angry about this sudden condition of sudden surgical menopause that I didn’t sign up for. I was angry about how awful I felt. I was angry at being angry. I whined, criticized, and blamed everyone and everything for my suffering. I blamed the surgery. I blamed my doctor. I blamed Jim. I blamed myself.